i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
