dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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