I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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