Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
