and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
