Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
50% drunk capacity currently
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
