They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
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