Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
