Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
