Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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