he referred to my room as the tit cave...
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
