there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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