Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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