Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
