God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
