He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
