So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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