We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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