I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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