plz talk dirty to me
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
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