The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
