Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
