Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I just blew my weed a kiss
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
