new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
