Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
