I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
