I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Randomize
