It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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