woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
