If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
