Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
