i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
