Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Randomize
