imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
You need a sexual gate keeper
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
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