I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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