A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
