i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
