Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
His hands were made for my vagina.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
