I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
