i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
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