There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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