My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
