Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I want to fling myself into the sun
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
