Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
