Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
