just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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