He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I'm having to shit out rocks
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
