Acid is not a monday night drug
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
