I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize