My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
