Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Randomize
