even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
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